I depart India in two days, and this will be my last Letter from India, on this journey.
And what a journey it has been! I have been here for 4 months and have been sick 4 times; dysentery (contaminated water), Food poisoning (where I vomited at a wedding, having eaten food from a take-out), Throat infection (like a strep throat), and recently, Heat Stroke. All of which included a purgation of one form or another. Either up or down, or both ends, and the sweats. This was my initiation of the cleansing process I co-created for myself. It was tough, and there were moments I believed I would not see the light of the next day. In the final analysis, I survived, recovered and I feel so much better than before I arrived. Go figure! Now I wish to replace some of the weight I lost and all is well.
So, what is the message for having had this cleansing experience?
The mind and the body are irrevocably connected. They are a mirror for each other. The holy people aspire to God either through the mind or through the body. One affects the other. My thoughts have not been the most positive over the years, even though I did my best. These toxic thoughts poisoned my body.
In my younger years, I abused my body dreadfully with wine, women and song, which unto themselves are not bad. I just misused my intelligence, and abused myself. On a psycho-emotional level I fully understand the reasons why I did all this, and I have spent the latter part of my life in my own healing and balancing. The culmination of all this healing occurred when my Beloved Angelia decided to depart her body and go home to the Angelic Realm. This was a wake up call for me like no other. I knew that I was doing the same action and hoping for different results, and in this sense I was insane.
The cosmic wake up call demanded that I look at my life and make a decision. Was I going to follow Angelia’s lead and depart my body, or was I going to re-evaluate the way by which I was living my life? As you can see I chose the latter. This also demanded that I change my actions. But how? I decided to go to India. A completely irrational decision, after all, I am 62 years of age, no longer a spring chicken. My back ached, my neck ached, I felt weak, I suffered with physical pain for about 7 years, since July, 2001, when Max, my canine brother/friend/confidant/major supporter, died. My life was a mess. I suffered much.
And so, having packed enough for three people, including hiking boots, backpack, medicines, oil of Oregano, Tri-Guard, and so on did I embark upon my greatest odyssey of self discovery. I went to India…To include the summer time. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. All I knew was to change my actions. I was prepared to wonder about India with the kitchen sink strapped to my back. Quite ludicrous.
News Alert! As I am typing this the largest ant I have ever seen just walked past me. It is at least 1 inch long. I have been experiencing this type of thing every day. Two nights ago, just after the start of the monsoon rains, after the sun went down and I switched the light on in my room, the room was filled with hundreds and hundreds of flying creatures. They were larger than mosquitoes, and had double wings like a biplane. Apparently this is what happens at the beginning of monsoon, and unbeknownst to me these creature only live for a few hours then die. I spent those two hours doing what I could to clear the room of them. There were many dead ones on the floor. Then the ants started coming in to clear up the dead. I was seeing the eco-system working as never before. This is a amazingly diverse country, with 850,000 different species of life forms, 17.5% of the all the species in the world is right here in India. A country smaller than the USA, and with almost 4 times the population. I am in awe of this place.
Back to the kitchen sink….
I was actually prepared for anything; enlightenment, death, being lost and finding Shangri La, you name it, I was fantasizing it. I just did not really care anymore – And this is the key, I started to let go, to surrender. A form of giving up. The weight of my past life of suffering, the weight of my emotional baggage and the weight of my physical luggage all took its toll on me, and I was buckling at the knees. I arrived at Jiva Ayurveda Health center in India, and I was accepted to assist in various projects, for which I was able to sleep and eat without worry. It was quite wonderful.
I met the most lovely people from various countries of the world, with whom I am still in contact. The weather was delightful and life was good. Then the change started, as the weather changed from Spring into Summer, and the people stopped coming. I was on my own. I became a recluse in my room where I chanted the mantras and prayers to God, Krishna, Ganesha, Hanuman, Rama, Shiva, Lakshmi and so on. I used my mala beads, I prayed, I meditated and I felt as if I was somewhere and nowhere.
Then the physical illnesses were upon me, and I felt the breath of death itself whispering to me, “Come, I am ready for you. Let go and come to me.” Somehow, I just could not let go in that manner. I re-affirmed my love of Self and God, for my children, my friends, my spiritual family and asked God as I fell to me knees in desperate supplication to awaken from this nightmare of ignorance.
Well, I survived each illness, and though weak with loss of bodily fluids, and weak of muscle, the cosmic magic started to help me. An Indian ship engineer came for a week, and he suggested I take electrolytes. I ran to the local “hole in the wall” chemist and bought such a supply. The effects were nothing short of miraculous. I started to regain muscle strength and to feel better. I started to eat more fruit, and less regular food, and every now and then I had chocolates and toffees and biscuits (cookies) – comfort food.
Then I encountered by divine invention the Jyotishi (Vedic Astrologer), whom I saw in March, and who gave me an encouraging report. Well, this time, I was invited to have tea with him and he began to teach me stuff. That was about 3 weeks ago. Yesterday I went to see him again and again invited me to tea and biscuits and continued teaching me stuff.
I started to have premonitions and the psychic stuff started up again, and I see and feel that I have been opened a bit more, that I am more awake than before, that I can create with greater ease. That the events in my life are so sped up that I may have to experience something for only days rather than weeks or months, or for only months rather than years, before the changes set in and I move on in my journey to my own sacred self.
I do not really know what all this means, except that I am to complete my assignment on this earth, and I am more ready and capable to do so than at any other time of my life. I am ready, able and willing to Live and be part of this extraordinarily beautiful world we live in. I feel the depth of Love arising from deep within me, and I am feeling this Unconditional Love more and more. I feel happy, and filled with Joy. I do not know why, I just do. Nothing dramatic has happened. It is just becoming more and more apparent that something good is happening to me. I cannot put a label on it and I do not want to. I am happy to just BE.
All this in just four months. Remarkable. Now I want to share all this with others, and have made an agreement with myself and God to spend the rest of my life as an instrument in service of God and humanity. My path is the path of devotion to Divine Love. And so I intend to talk, lecture, give seminars, teach meditation and whatever I am to do and be in the fulfillment of this holy covenant.
And I thank you for allowing me to share this with you. You who are a part of my life and who has played a significant role in the path I have adopted. You are a very beautiful soul of divine love, peace and joy. I thank you for being in my life, which you have enriched beyond measure.
And so, what is next? I dare not plan as the changes seems to be so fast and furious, but plan (loosely) I do anyway. I am going to visit my older brother, Michael and his family in Isreal. I will walk on the beach with him as I process and integrate this growing awareness. I have been booked to give a presentation at a Yoga Studio in Tel Aviv, courtesy of my brother’s daughter, who helped me make the contact. Then I will return to the USA, and do my work/joy, wherever I am invited and wherever I can.
I will gather a group to bring back to Jiva Ayurveda Health Clinic in November, for those who wish to avail themselves of the ayurveda medical facilities, including all the pancha Karma treatments and other ayurveda treatments. I will give free presentations on this in peoples’ homes and the like.
The future is bright, and the light is bright. Each one of us does make a difference. Let that difference be for the highest good of all. We can change ourselves, I am living proof of that, and as we change ourselves positively, we give others permission to do the same. This is how we change our world. Let’s do it…TOGETHER.
With all my heartfelt love from the depths of my soul, on this humid day in India,
Aham Prema (I am Divine Love)
Anthony
(Tony is no more, Anthony, my birth name is back. My full name is Anthony Bennett Altman. I acknowledge the energy of this name and I invite it back in my life – And so it is!).





